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Anyone who knows me knows that I value friendship. There are a lot of things in this world that one could talk about being important, but the bonds between people mean so much to me.

Friendship is about giving one thing of yourself to someone else that you can never get back, and that is your time.

We choose who and how we spend our time. Having shared experiences and recalling them with old friends over the years is more than nostalgia, it unlocks parts of our brains that make us feel alive and remember how full of life we are.

We have acquaintances and we have friends. It is important to know the difference. If you look at a place like Facebook or LinkedIn and see your “Friends” or “Connections” you might ask yourself, are these really my friends? I think some are friends, and some are just casual online connections. Even if you’ve met them in real life.

What is a friend?

A friend is someone who actually wants to be part of your life. They are more than an online Facebook birthday wish (And believe me, I am all about the birthday wishes). A friend sees and hears, then picks up the phone and calls you, or drives over, or engages you. A friends checks up on you. A friend wants you in their life.

But what about that friend that you don’t talk to for a year, then you re-connect and it’s like you bridge the gap of time and it’s like the quiet time didn’t matter? We all get busy. As we get older we do find ourselves getting busy. People have primary romantic relationships, kids, jobs, and there is only so much time to have connections; so it can be easy to think we’ll get back to that friend and forget.

Forgiveness

Friendship is about knowing you have an amazing history of shared experiences, and a breadth of life that at one point you intersected with and sometimes that intersection will diverge. That’s ok. But forgive yourself for not being as engaged. Forgive your friend for not being as engaged. When the opportunity comes, and there is time, make it happen. Forget the past, and let bygones be bygones. Holding on to hurt feelings will never let you move forward, and you’ll only have bitter memories.

Don’t have disposable friends

I do not have disposable friends. I would like to believe that I would go out of my way for my friends. Sometimes I have not be able to be where I wanted to be to help a friend, but life hasn’t always workout in the ways that I think they would. Be consistent. Show up as much as possible. I saw a meme that said, tell your friends you love them and make it weird. I agree. Why spend time with people you just tolerate, that’s work.

I have been very fortunate to have people in my life that have shared the path on my journey, and stick with me. These are the people I value, they are in no way disposable. Sometimes they are distant, and sometimes they engage me in ways that make all the difference in the world. There is nothing more appreciated than someone who takes the time and reminds you that you are important to them. Take the time and be a friend.

Welcome. This site continues to evolve. It is a work in progress, just like anything. I am writing this at the end of 2022 and looking forward to 2023. Some predictions, this will be a year of AI, Artificial Intelligence, but more importantly computers being used to generate original content to some degree. From filtered photos to deep fakes, this will be the year it starts.

They say we will have an economic downturn this year. The US dollar is strong against foreign currencies. Maybe it’s an excellent time to travel overseas. The year is starting off with Gas Prices lower than ever. Electric cars are flooding the market and forcing Tesla to reconsider its higher prices, and consider higher production.

The War in Ukraine continues on, so keep watching those defense stocks. And let’s hope Ukraine wins. They are a sovereign nation and should have been respected.

The Fentanyl crisis continues to plague our country. The Blue Plaid Society here in Florida and many other NGOs are working hard to educate and make a difference in the fight for people’s lives. Bottom line. Don’t do illicit drugs. You’re going to die.

Finally, back to work, back to the office. For many, they thought the new normal was work from home forever. It seems like the world isn’t so much about that anymore. Cabin fever has struck and companies are demanding their employees return to the office. For some, it’s going to be hard. But it is a reality that social interaction is a requirement for people to have synergy. While you may be productive in the at-home world, sometimes, it’s the casual conversations that make the difference and can only be had over at the break room.

2023, we’re ready for you.

Judd Spitzer

I was watching a news channel this morning and the 2022 in memoriam was on. I remember the surprise that this person or that person had passed away during the year. It was something to see it all at once, and bring back the memories again of these celebrities and notable people. There were of course Actors and Singers. There were also Politicians, News Reporters, Sports Legions, and other Industry Icons.

Who Cares?

Well we all care. We live in a world where we expect people to be there. We expect people to be in our lives and we don’t see a life where that will change. It is devastating when a person dies that is important to us. It can rock us to our core, because in a way, people are an extension of our being. Some people like celebrities might be like leaves on a tree. They fall off and we notice them, and maybe some that influenced us are like small branches. Then there are family members; they have the greatest impact and they represent the biggest branches on the tree.

Moving Forward

We do have to find ways to move forward. We do that by keeping the memories alive. We do that by not letting the lives that matter to us become just a footnote in a closed book. We do that be living better and doing things that inspire other people to be their best.

New Year – Restarts

People love these kind of memes. The idea that they aren’t going to change, but change is what we do. I know it’s not that a day happens and we magically become a different person. Maybe we don’t need new resolutions, maybe we just need to refocus on the things we have let go. We need to concentrate on doing the things we want to do to be better.

There is no magic wand or moment that happens that makes a person be different. Sure, you can set exercise goals or health goals or whatever, but you were doing that before. EVERYDAY is a day that you get to restart. January 1 isn’t the only day that restarts can happen. It’s too bad that we focus on one day out of the year, when any day is a good day to make changes, adjust and move forward.

Do you use the cloud to back up your phone or tablet? Or how about your computer? It is much easier these days to restore your devices in the event of a catastrophic event, such as the loss of your device. The trick is you have to do it.

Apple has made the iCloud system work seamlessly with the hardware ecosystem. What once meant connecting your device to a computer and wait for syncing as been changed to automatic sync while you sleep and charge.

You no longer have to worry about losing photos, texts, notes and passwords. I know hat you’re thinking, but they have your data, they could do something nefarious with it. Well chances are they aren’t. Of course we know that Apple contends to be super privacy minded, but they still draw some lines.

What is the most important thing to you no to lose? I would bet photos and videos of your loved ones and friends. What are you and I doing to preserve these memories? You never know who might need to get into your iCloud or phone? Maybe it’s life saving?

Two stories for you.

I was on a cruise and thought my iPhone X was more water resistant than it actually was. So I happened to be around water and it got wet. The phone stopped turning on. Basically if it wasn’t for my iPad and iMessage, I would not have had a communication tool. Everything was synced between the devices. However, what about the phone? It was warranteed and I had a new one a day after I returned. I didn’t lose anything. Everything was in the cloud and my phone restored to normal in just a few hours with all of my photos and everything. I would have been devastated to lose all of my personal things.

Another story is what happens if someone dies? If you don’t have a plan, those precious memories could be lost to the ether forever. iCloud storage is extremely secure, and it is very difficult to reset a password if you lose access to your phone or another device that is logged into that account.

Take the time to strategize the memories you would like to ensure are available for your family and friends. Create shared albums, do whatever is necessary so that your loved ones are able to keep your memory alive. You just don’t know how long you will live. Life is a crapshoot. You think you’ll live forever, and all that you are could disappear but it doesn’t have to be like that.

Maybe you have no idea what it is like to lose someone important and wish you had photos of their life. Maybe a parent, a child or close friend. There is nothing that fills a soul up more that seeing YOUR face. See you in all the quirky ways that we are. Take the selfies, take 100… who cares, because we are super critical of your image and only 2 or 3 will matter. But in 10 years, they all will matter, and you’ll have forgotten how wonderful that moment actually was, and maybe someone else needs to see that photo as well.

I hear this word narcissist a lot this days. We’ve created a device that feeds into everyone’s ability to be their own image manager, and that’s a good thing. I don’t think that taking selfies makes you a narcissist. In a world where we are disconnected, it helps use to maintain connections, because seeing each other matters. That’s what makes us real.

When you love someone, you want to see them. You want to see them be amazing, doing activities, living their best life. But we need it all, the painful, self reflecting moments, the hard times. Friends support each other, that’s just part of love.

One day we will be gone, and what memories will you leave? How do you want to be remembered? But don’t let who you are fade away from the world. You matter to someone. You do. There is always someone who thinks you are special and you matter. Leave the gift of you, in some special way, even if it’s just a series of photographs of your life. How you are remembered is up to you.

I think it is difficult to move forward from some of the hurts of the past. We fain the effort and yet the thoughts will resurface over and over again over time, over a lifetime. You may think, I’ll “Get Over it”. But you don’t.

There is a plethora of advice out there to help a person move beyond the issues that they have. You can go to therapy, take medications, self medicate, and yet, what really works? People damage other people. That is a fact, and sometimes only that other person can help to resolve the pain.

There are things like unresolved relationship issues, words left unspoken with friends, memories that you have with people who have passed away, and just the contentiousness of situations that happen in life.

There are sayings that talk about letting others fill your head.

It’s not always so easy

When you love someone with all of your being, it isn’t easy to let go of things. You look past the problems that are there, and want to find that common ground and get back to a positive energy place. Life is already hard enough and losing people you love is the hardest.

There are two situations that makes things extra hard to get closure.

A Person Who Has Passed Away

How do you make amends? I think this is so hard because grief is a tremendous burden. Having unfinished business with a friend, someone you’re estranged with, or a family member is very difficult particularly when they have died. There is no path to return to. There really is no way to get closure.

Some days we distract ourselves to forget and move forward with our life. But where there is connection, there is grief. What could I have done to make it better? What could I have done to bridge the gaps to get us back on the right track. Holding a grudge is a horrible thing if a person is trying to get back in your good graces.

No one wants to have those moments stuck in their head for the rest of their life. We all should be better. They say when someone has died that they should rest in peace. But maybe if you don’t let the living have some peace, you too will have to wait to resolve the issues of the past before you will get true peace. So if I can make a plea to the living, find a way.

A Person Who Refuses to Talk

I used to believe that time would heal all wounds. That at some point people do come around and will listen to someone who they had a past with. Someone who truly comes to them with a real effort to bridge the gaps, fix the miscommunications, and let the past be the past, so we could grow and return to a relationship that would matter, or even not so much matter, but not filled with contention.

Grudges

We all hold them. People, our friends and family have done something that rubbed us the wrong way, and it was way out of line, and now we refuse to speak with them. We hold these grudges as penalty for bad behavior. In many cases rightfully so. After all, why do we need to allow drama back in our lives?

Ice should melt in time. People live, people learn. If you don’t believe that people do grow and have experiences that change them and make them better you would be mistaken. We are the sum of all of our life experiences and we have the capacity to be a better person. Give people a chance after time to come back, if they seek you out. Not all relationships have to end, they can be placed on pause. Like it or not, as we meet people and interact with them, we get to have a little part of each other as the take away. It’s energy, it’s sharing moments of time that neither of you will ever get back. Hopefully some of those moments are wonderful.

And so

I’m writing this in the winter of 2022. The world is a year coming out of COVID, parts of the world are still being affected by it. If you’re like me, you’ve had friends that have died. Friends that have become distant, and the world has become a cold place, and I’m not talking about the weather. We can change. We can do better. There is no better time than now.

Anyone who knows me knows that I value friendship. There are a lot of things in this world that one could talk about being important, but the bonds between people mean so much to me.

Friendship is about giving one thing of yourself to someone else that you can never get back, and that is your time.

We choose who and how we spend our time. Having shared experiences and recalling them with old friends over the years is more than nostalgia, it unlocks parts of our brains that make us feel alive and remember how full of life we are.

We have acquaintances and we have friends. It is important to know the difference. If you look at a place like Facebook or LinkedIn and see your “Friends” or “Connections” you might ask yourself, are these really my friends? I think some are friends, and some are just casual online connections. Even if you’ve met them in real life.

What is a friend?

A friend is someone who actually wants to be part of your life. They are more than an online Facebook birthday wish (And believe me, I am all about the birthday wishes). A friend sees and hears, then picks up the phone and calls you, or drives over, or engages you. A friends checks up on you. A friend wants you in their life.

But what about that friend that you don’t talk to for a year, then you re-connect and it’s like you bridge the gap of time and it’s like the quiet time didn’t matter? We all get busy. As we get older we do find ourselves getting busy. People have primary romantic relationships, kids, jobs, and there is only so much time to have connections; so it can be easy to think we’ll get back to that friend and forget.

Forgiveness

Friendship is about knowing you have an amazing history of shared experiences, and a breadth of life that at one point you intersected with and sometimes that intersection will diverge. That’s ok. But forgive yourself for not being as engaged. Forgive your friend for not being as engaged. When the opportunity comes, and there is time, make it happen. Forget the past, and let bygones be bygones. Holding on to hurt feelings will never let you move forward, and you’ll only have bitter memories.

Don’t have disposable friends

I do not have disposable friends. I would like to believe that I would go out of my way for my friends. Sometimes I have not be able to be where I wanted to be to help a friend, but life hasn’t always workout in the ways that I think they would. Be consistent. Show up as much as possible. I saw a meme that said, tell your friends you love them and make it weird. I agree. Why spend time with people you just tolerate, that’s work.

I have been very fortunate to have people in my life that have shared the path on my journey, and stick with me. These are the people I value, they are in no way disposable. Sometimes they are distant, and sometimes they engage me in ways that make all the difference in the world. There is nothing more appreciated than someone who takes the time and reminds you that you are important to them. Take the time and be a friend.