Category: Uncategorized

Anyone who knows me knows that I value friendship. There are a lot of things in this world that one could talk about being important, but the bonds between people mean so much to me.

Friendship is about giving one thing of yourself to someone else that you can never get back, and that is your time.

We choose who and how we spend our time. Having shared experiences and recalling them with old friends over the years is more than nostalgia, it unlocks parts of our brains that make us feel alive and remember how full of life we are.

We have acquaintances and we have friends. It is important to know the difference. If you look at a place like Facebook or LinkedIn and see your “Friends” or “Connections” you might ask yourself, are these really my friends? I think some are friends, and some are just casual online connections. Even if you’ve met them in real life.

What is a friend?

A friend is someone who actually wants to be part of your life. They are more than an online Facebook birthday wish (And believe me, I am all about the birthday wishes). A friend sees and hears, then picks up the phone and calls you, or drives over, or engages you. A friends checks up on you. A friend wants you in their life.

But what about that friend that you don’t talk to for a year, then you re-connect and it’s like you bridge the gap of time and it’s like the quiet time didn’t matter? We all get busy. As we get older we do find ourselves getting busy. People have primary romantic relationships, kids, jobs, and there is only so much time to have connections; so it can be easy to think we’ll get back to that friend and forget.

Forgiveness

Friendship is about knowing you have an amazing history of shared experiences, and a breadth of life that at one point you intersected with and sometimes that intersection will diverge. That’s ok. But forgive yourself for not being as engaged. Forgive your friend for not being as engaged. When the opportunity comes, and there is time, make it happen. Forget the past, and let bygones be bygones. Holding on to hurt feelings will never let you move forward, and you’ll only have bitter memories.

Don’t have disposable friends

I do not have disposable friends. I would like to believe that I would go out of my way for my friends. Sometimes I have not be able to be where I wanted to be to help a friend, but life hasn’t always workout in the ways that I think they would. Be consistent. Show up as much as possible. I saw a meme that said, tell your friends you love them and make it weird. I agree. Why spend time with people you just tolerate, that’s work.

I have been very fortunate to have people in my life that have shared the path on my journey, and stick with me. These are the people I value, they are in no way disposable. Sometimes they are distant, and sometimes they engage me in ways that make all the difference in the world. There is nothing more appreciated than someone who takes the time and reminds you that you are important to them. Take the time and be a friend.

So I was going through my notes App on my phone and found this amazing list from 2019 that has lots of things that I really liked. I really do try to do these things. But maybe you’ll find these great as well. I did google this to figure it out and it comes from https://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelwmiller/the-ultimate-guide-to-showing-up-for-other-people

by Rachel Wilkerson Miller, Anna Borges, Terri Pous, Gyan Yankovich

Here is the first 5 of 66 wonderful ideas. Click the link to read the entire article.

1. When you’re talking to someone you care about — whether that’s IRL or over the phone/Skype — do your best to be fully present.

2. Give your non-romantic relationships the same sort of attention, care, and mental energy that you give your romantic ones. Think about your friends at least as much as you think about your crush, your favorite sports team, or reality TV celebrities.

3. Set up calendar notifications for their birthdays, or write them on your new calendar each January. (Don’t rely on Facebook to tell you!) Memorize their zodiac sign while you’re at it.

4. And put other meaningful days in their life (kids’ birthdays, wedding anniversaries) on your calendar, especially ones tied to grief. Reach out on the anniversary of their loved one’s passing and let them know you are thinking of them.

5. Figure out the best method of communication for the two of you. Some people are terrible at texting back but are great on the phone. We’re sorry to say that this means you just gotta suck it up and call them sometimes. Talking on the phone sometimes is better than losing lifelong friends because they can’t Gchat all day at work.

1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world – start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.
2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier – start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
3. erase processed food from your diet. start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta, rice, cereal, then bread. use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it.
4. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
5. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.
6. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
7. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.
8. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.
9. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
10. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
11. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
12. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.
13. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.
14. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
15. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.1

Taken from Tumblr

1. Linguistic Intelligence: the capacity to use language to express what’s on your mind and to understand other people. Any kind of writer, orator, speaker, lawyer, or other person for whom language is an important stock in trade has great linguistic intelligence.
2. Logical/Mathematical Intelligence: the capacity to understand the underlying principles of some kind of causal system, the way a scientist or a logician does; or to manipulate numbers, quantities, and operations, the way a mathematician does.
3. Musical Rhythmic Intelligence: the capacity to think in music; to be able to hear patterns, recognize them, and perhaps manipulate them. People who have strong musical intelligence don’t just remember music easily, they can’t get it out of their minds, it’s so omnipresent.
4. Bodily/Kinesthetic Intelligence: the capacity to use your whole body or parts of your body (your hands, your fingers, your arms) to solve a problem, make something, or put on some kind of production. The most evident examples are people in athletics or the performing arts, particularly dancing or acting.
5. Spatial Intelligence: the ability to represent the spatial world internally in your mind — the way a sailor or airplane pilot navigates the large spatial world, or the way a chess player or sculptor represents a more circumscribed spatial world. Spatial intelligence can be used in the arts or in the sciences.
6. Naturalist Intelligence: the ability to discriminate among living things (plants, animals) and sensitivity to other features of the natural world (clouds, rock configurations). This ability was clearly of value in our evolutionary past as hunters, gatherers, and farmers; it continues to be central in such roles as botanist or chef.
7. Intrapersonal Intelligence: having an understanding of yourself; knowing who you are, what you can do, what you want to do, how you react to things, which things to avoid, and which things to gravitate toward. We are drawn to people who have a good understanding of themselves. They tend to know what they can and can’t do, and to know where to go if they need help.
8. Interpersonal Intelligence: the ability to understand other people. It’s an ability we all need, but is especially important for teachers, clinicians, salespersons, or politicians — anybody who deals with other people.
9. Existential Intelligence: the ability and proclivity to pose (and ponder) questions about life, death, and ultimate realities.

Howard Gardner’s seminal Theory of Multiple Intelligences, originally published in 1983, which revolutionized psychology and education by offering a more dimensional conception of intelligence than the narrow measures traditional standardized tests had long applied. (via divinespirit)

Being intelligent is not just about being ‘smart’ and good at academic subjects.

Change is a constant. We only wish that things would stay the same, but the world is filled with progress and life goes on. But we do need some consistency. When I say consistency, I’m talking about institutions.

A lot of people talk about what makes America Great. I will tell you it has been our spirit of volunteering that has created this amazing space. Without people willing to lend a hand, step up and do the hard work without consideration of a monetary reward, there would be a lot of organizations that would falter.

We can not ignore the change of life that has happened during this pandemic. There are generations that are being left behind by technology. Some people can adapt and others can or will not.

The generation that was ardent volunteers are soon becoming a thing of the past. Particularly the 65+ crowd. There are a lot of people who have not adapted during the pandemic to using tools like Zoom and other teleconferencing software. This is how things are being done in 2021. But these people are being lost in the wake of change.

New Normal (STFU!)

I hate that term, because change is inevitable. Sometimes change happens faster than people would hope, and sometimes it doesn’t come fast enough. Where is my flying car?

The Jetsons was not a crazy of a concept in a lot of ways, and our future has been imagined time and time again. How to get younger people to volunteer for these great organizations and keep the older generation engaged is the 21st century problem. Distance creates disassociation. We are losing the value that comes with community. Make the phone calls, do the video chat, get face to face with people and get engaged.

If we fail to support these organizations, the future will be bleak for our nations heart beat. So many of these groups rely on the bonds of friendship that are created by pursuing common goals for the greater good. No one person can do it all. The government doesn’t live in this arena, only the good will of neighbors can make our local community the best place to live.

Some of these include: Kiwanis, Lions, Rotary International, Civitan International, Order of DeMolay, Apex Clubs of Australia, Altrusa International, JCI, Sertoma, Exchange, Optimists, Soroptimists, KIN Canada, Zonta, Quota International, Lucis Trust, Round Table.

I’m a member of Toastmasters and The US Navy League. Find the organization that works for you that you can be passionate about, and help longstanding members stay with it and adapt to the changing world.

I spent twenty years serving America. I stood the watch. I spent time away from home and did long voyages at sea to keep America Safe.

I served under Regan, Bush, Clinton, and Bush.

My loyalty has been and always will be to the values and principles of our Nation and our Navy. Honor, Courage and Committment.

On January 6, 2021, citizens of our very nation, took up arms against the elected officials to overturn the will of the people from every individual state.

There are so many reasons why this act of treason is appalling, but the number one reason is because of where it comes from. You can be upset that your candidate lost. In the United States, we live to campaign another day. We do not attempt to violently overthrow our duly elected leaders of our country through force and violence.

There was an election, certified by 50 states, by both parties. And in many cases manual recounts occurred confirming the results. It is over. No more conspiracy talk. No more Fake News talk. It’s time that we start honoring our commitment to our country and start being servant citizens if we want to make this the best country on the planet once again.

Today we have a chance to change. We have a chance to be better. No more rhetoric, it’s a time for positive change and a promise to be better.

Well I don’t think that many would disagree that 2020 has been a very trying year. It has been a year of many different ups and downs. Some would say it’s been a dumpster fire of a year. I don’t know about that. We look at December 31st as some finish line where we can start over. The problems don’t go way just because the year changes.

COVID-19, The Corona Virus, or whatever you want to call it has been the primary thing that 2020 will be remembered for.

But how has it affected us?

Social distancing and Mask Wearing are the two big things that people seem to be consumed with. But what about the positive things?

• I got to work from home for most of the year. Telecommuting is a thing and will be here to stay.
• I saved on wear and tear on my car and hardly used gas.
• Used the commute time to exercise.
• More opportunities to cook and eat at home, saving some money.
• Faster development of technologies that enable us to live better at home.
  • Zoom
  • DoorDash, UberEats, Postmates, Grubhub
  • Order groceries and other items for pickup when you get to the store.
  • More fitness at home, Peloton, Apple Fitness+, etc.
  • Streaming first run movies at home.
  • Normalizing online purchasing from places like Amazon.

We have heard this term, “The New Normal”. I feel like the only thing that is the new normal is masks and social distancing. And they will go away in the next year. But the reality is that all of the things that are making our lives easier to deal with using technology have been ramped up faster because people will use it. That’s a positive thing. We would not have been as quickly on board with these technologies if it wasn’t for this pandemic. This change was coming, albeit slowly.

There are downsides to all of this as well. We are social creatures. Not getting to see co-workers, family, travel, and generally socialize can have a real mental toll on a person’s psyche. We need human interaction. We need to see and touch and breathe in the moments. That’s part of the human experience.

Let us not forget that 2020 has also been an election year.

Former Vice-President Joe Biden beat President Trump in the election, and while Trump will not concede the election, it is all but assured that Biden will be sworn into office on Jan 20th.

But this election has been one of extreme controversy, where the nation has been pretty evenly divided between Democrats and Republicans. But there is a lot more going on here. There has been a lot of misunderstanding about the goals and aims of each party.

There has been an uptick in violence by hate groups in the US.

https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2020-10-23/hate-crimes-at-highest-level-since-09-transgender-attacks-up-64-and-white-supremacists-acts-amplified

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-54968498

https://www.ajc.org/news/AntisemitismReport2020/the-state-of-antisemitism-in-america-2020-insights-and-analysis

It’s concerning and alarming that we are not living in a world that we can agree to disagree any longer. We don’t see each other as human beings but something lesser.

It’s been a difficult year for everyone…

And maybe having a January 1 is the fresh start we all need. Get away from the politics. Get away from the fear. Get away from the hate, and start fresh and new.

We have to be committed to making our country and our world a better place. We are in this together.

We all have a choice on the path that we will chose in 2021. I think that this is the time to mend fences and move forward. If you continue to live with suspicion, hate, and fear, then you will be living in a terrible past. This is our chance to renew and refresh. Let’s make 2021 better. We are after all at the home stretch.